Unmasked : Domestic and Family Violence, how we can make changes

Welcome to "Stronger Together", a transformative podcast experience that delves deep into the fabric of community wellbeing and individual resilience. Hosted by Tanya O'Shea, Managing Director of IMPACT with a bachelor's degree in psychology, and Kate Rumballe, IMPACT's Communications Officer with over two decades of experience as a journalist and communications professional.

This series is a lifeline for those in need.

In this gripping episode, we tackle the often taboo and deeply unsettling topic of  Domestic and Family Violence. We're joined by Emily, a courageous survivor willing to share her harrowing journey from the clutches of abuse to the path of recovery. Her story is a stark reminder that domestic violence doesn't discriminate; it could be happening right next door.

Emily's narrative begins seven years ago when she met a man who seemed like the epitome of charm and kindness. However, the facade soon crumbled, revealing a cycle of coercive control and escalating violence that culminated in life-threatening situations. Emily's story is not just a tale of survival but also a call to action. With alarming statistics indicating that last year alone, 57 women lost their lives to domestic violence, and this year, the count has already reached 35, the episode underscores the urgent need for community intervention and systemic change.

But what about the bystanders? This episode also addresses the crucial role that friends, family, and even strangers can play in breaking the cycle of abuse. Domestic violence is not just a private issue; it's a community crisis that requires collective action. Bystanders have the power to intervene, offer support, and even save lives. Whether it's noticing the signs, offering a listening ear, or taking steps to ensure someone's safety, your actions could make a world of difference.

This episode is not just an eye-opener; it's a call to action. We discuss the grim statistics, the laws around coercive control, and the steps that each one of us can take to make a difference. We also provide resources for immediate support, making it a comprehensive guide for anyone affected by or working in the field of domestic violence.

Please visit https://impact.org.au/unmasked-domestic-and-family-violence-how-we-can-make-changes

So, tune in and be part of the change. Because we are all Stronger Together.

Thank you for listening to this episode of "Stronger Together" We hope you enjoyed the conversation and gained valuable insights.

Stay connected with us:

• Follow us on Twitter
• Like our Facebook page
• Visit our website
• Subscribe to our YouTube channel
• Connect with us on LinkedIn

Don't forget to subscribe to our podcast to stay updated on future episodes. Remember, we are STRONGER TOGETHER.

Transcript

0:03

Welcome to Stronger Together, a powerful podcast series hosted by IMPACT Community Services. Join us as we discuss the importance of wellbeing support systems and how a strong community can be a lifeline for those in need. I'm Tanya O'Shea, managing director of IMPACT And Hi, I'm Kate Rumble IMPACT's communications officer. This episode may contain discussions on topics such as mental health, violence or other sensitive issues that could be triggering or distressing for some listeners. If you find this content challenging, we encourage you to pause the episode and seek immediate support. Information on where to seek help will be provided at the end of this episode or on our website. impact.org.au Please prioritise your well-being while listening. Before we begin, we wish to acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which we live, work and meet. We pay our respects to the elders, past, present and future, for they hold the memories, traditions, the culture, hopes and values not only of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, but of all Australians. Now let's delve into the important conversations awaiting us in today's episode. Hi everyone. Welcome to the latest episode of Stronger Together. And I'm back here with my bestest offsider, Kate. Welcome back, Kate. Hello. I'm so happy to be back on this episode. I really missed out last time. It was a great conversation It was, it was lovely to have Janine in with us. And we talked all things mental health, particularly around around that peer workforce, which is going to be incredibly important for us moving forward. So you did miss out a little bit, but we are incredibly happy to have you back. I did miss out, but I did listen Excellent, and I'm pleased you did. I'm hoping other people are starting to join and listen to the conversations as well. Yes, and thank you to everybody who has subscribed. And if you're joining us for the first time, welcome. Great, thank you. So today we're going to talk about something that's a little bit confronting for some people. And I guess we are going to call it out pretty quickly that for some people you may want to have a support person with you when you're listening to this, because today we are going to be talking about domestic violence and what that looks like in real life for a person who has experienced it and for a person who has escaped domestic violence in her life for her family. So I'm just going to leave that with you and encourage, if you would like to have a support person present with you. I do encourage you to do that or to just have a debrief with someone after the episode, if that's something that would be of value to you. So what we know, I guess is that last year, 57 women died as a result of domestic violence, and this year alone, 35 women's lives have been taken. Now we know that domestic violence doesn't discriminate. It's actually not about gender. And we also know that there are many men out there who are also experiencing violence by an intimate partner. So the current stats, it could be anywhere up to one in 14 men are living in a domestic violence relationship, which it's very confronting is in that, Kate, when we're thinking about stats like that, it just feels completely off the scale to think that, you know, it could be people living beside you. It really is. And you don't necessarily know. People become very good at hiding what's going on behind closed doors. But the statistics around domestic violence are really grim and action needs to be taken. I think that it's really timely that we're talking about this because, of course, it is child protection week this week as well. It's absolutely very important. And we've got a lot of people out there advocating for change. So just last year we had Sue Clarke and the team from Small Steps for Hannah visit our organisation, visit with our team, who was working very closely in the domestic violence space, and they had lots of lots of encouraging words, but obviously it's a hard road that they've that they've taken to change the laws around coercive control. So we absolutely applaud the work that that they have done. But obviously there's still more work that that needs to happen in this space. Now, we are incredibly fortunate to have Emily with us today, and she has been kind and gracious enough to join us and share her story. Good morning, Emily. Good morning. Thank you for having me. Thank you for coming in and your openness and willingness and honesty around this topic. So, Emily, tell us a bit about your story. My story started about six years ago. Oh, no, seven years ago now, actually. And I say that it's still continuing even though my child and I did escape. We are still very conscious that unfortunately, the person who chose to use violence against us, which was my child's father and my ex-husband, is still hunting us down. So it is something that is continuing. However, it did start seven years ago, so seven years ago I met the most amazing person at that time. As we all know, coercive control is blind to begin with. At that time, he was charming and sweet and kind. He said all the most amazing things. Something very much like off a movie. And within two years we were married and then we expected a baby boy after that. And then we went through with having our baby. And then I'd say probably six months into our child being born, this sign started to show. And just like many others who don't think that that could happen to them or who don't think that that person who adores and loves them, who committed to all these things, would ever do anything to hurt them. They were ignored. They were very much ignored. So the, without going into too much the smashing of the phones or my child's newborn photos being burnt or simple things like somewhat simple things leaving handprints of bruises, all of those physical violence was somewhat minimal to begin with. However, it escalated in severity and frequency as life went on, and within time there was an incident where it had gone from something somewhat simple of smashing a phone to having a knife in my neck. It escalated to a point where I am very fortunate to be here today. But yes, that's how the journey has been. And so I made a decision when it started to escalate to start to have a plan somewhat of what this was going to look like. That plan was very secretive at that time, due to I didn't want people to know it wasn't something that and to be honest today, I think it is still a bit of a taboo to talk about. It makes people uncomfortable. It's not something that you would just willingly disclose to just anybody. So it was something that was very much internal. And so I made a plan and that plan started. And then at a point I was fortunate enough to have support and also forcible support to say you need to leave. And we were told not just to leave the house, to leave the state. Wow. It's a powerful story. And what our listeners can't see, obviously, is you and the reaction that this is still having on you. You seem to be holding things together beautifully. I think we can hear a little bit of trembling in your words, but what our listeners can't see, you know, is this obvious distress that you're still feeling within you that that we can see in your face through the trembling in your lips, the redness that's coming up through your body just in you talking about it. So this happened, you know, it started this story for you seven years ago. And it continues on, doesn't it? It's not something that just leaves when you leave. It's something that you continue to carry with you and obviously continue to carry 100% So my son and I, we're very lucky to have support services, one being a massive help was police who could see what had actually happened and they were the driving force and those hard, I guess, the conductors of those hard conversations to say that these communities are no longer safe for you. We have done our job and they did a wonderful job. But just like everything, there are weaknesses in chains. And one of those weaknesses did affect our safety, unfortunately. So it was up to my discretion, with support to the leave the state. So with that came, became complications of when the domestic violence order lapsed to then reinstate the domestic violence. So for about 12 months we were somewhat probably the safest we've ever been. However, for our protection, I made the decision to reapply for the domestic violence order to be extended for a further five years. Conscious that it's different in different states, the timing is different in different states. So with that then came risks as and he knew what state we were in. With that came that process of with the domestic violence order. If it wasn't enforced by a police you have to apply. So you have to tell the judge why you think you need that. The evidence was quite strong on my behalf. However, I still had to face him again. So in a court hearing, why he had done nothing wrong. Once again, is alarming to see that that change still hasn't that accountability still isn't there. But so with that, then came the new domestic violence order. And with that I was reminded somewhat that our situation was extreme. And I think as women, we tend to all survive. It's not just women survive as men, anybody who has experienced something we downplay in a way of coping in some way. I think it's a way of coping with what actually happened. But we downplay in a way that someone else has a much worse than us until we are reminded what actually it was, it was very bad. So we did get a phone call from a magistrate himself who had advised that he was very worried for our safety. So he put us on an imminent risk team for the state, which meant that then we will engage with the Australian Federal Police and we have been flagged with our communities police station that if anything was to come, they have to come and take us immediately. So, Emily, one of the things I guess that I really respect about you is that you have not and not at any time have you said the system has failed me. You've talked often about the system. There's parts of the system or chains within the system that are a little bit broken, but you've never once said that the system has failed me. You've always said, we've got to follow the process, we've got to step in and we've got to use the system and access what we can and the supports that we need. Talk us through that experience for you, because we know that it hasn't been perfect. Yes. And I think just like anything, not just within domestic violence, but state country wide systems are at breaking point. We have a lot of people who need help either financially or anything. However, domestic violence is in that same category as well. So systems aren't perfect, but I don't think they ever will be. While people are hiding or people are withdrawing or people aren't speaking, we can't we can't expect change if we can't ask the questions that need to be asked or we can't expect change. If people like myself, while it's daunting, don't speak about what's actually happened, and I recognise that that's not easy for everybody. And some people can and some people can't just like anything. But as a community we start asking those questions of why? Why are people speaking? Why is this still happening? Rather than asking, Why are they staying? Why aren't they leaving? And then I believe an even stronger question is how how can we create a system to be stronger rather than blaming it? How can we help people to speak rather than demeaning them for not how can we as a community stop because it's not stopping. We can say all the right things and we can do all the right things and we can pour money into systems and we can pour money into programs. But if we don't ask how, and if we don't work together to then create a solution for how things are going to change, that's not a system's fault. That's a community. As a community, we need to band together to be able to create those questions in a safe environment for people to ask how. Systems, yes, are weakened points 100%. So, Emily, I'd like to go back to something that you said before about when you wanted to have your order extended. You had to face your abuser all over again in court. That takes some real strength. That must have been a really difficult experience to go through and to think that to get that protection, you have no choice but to face that person again. What are your thoughts around that? I think any human being is going to be frustrated with that because in a way, my son and I have come forward a hundred steps. However, within half an hour we went back or not so much, my son, for instance, but myself, went back 120. Obviously, it's going to be alarming. I guess I can take comfort in that. I had an amazing magistrate who supported myself, who asked those questions of how, who held the person using violence accountable to actually say, I do not believe in you. I don't see that you have changed your actual arrogance within the court room shows me different. And he supported me. He put me on the imminent risk team. I had phone calls from social workers to say you need an immediate safety plan. All of these wonderful things from a system which once again supported me. And I recognise that that isn't the case for everybody. And I recognise that a woman who is fighting for safety shouldn't have to once again fight when there is current orders in place to say that any other given time. So just a little bit of background. The person using violence is on an intensive correction order, which means that they serve their prison time in the community. That was extended due to eight breaches in the domestic violence order or found guilty. So in a perfect system, I wouldn't have too. It should have just been extended there and then you can't you know, you're showing that you can't follow an order, therefore it gets extended for longer. In a perfect system, however, nothing is perfect in this world. All humans have rights. And in a system that is trying its best, I was supported and like I said, I recognise that isn't the same for everybody. But a system is out there to support, a system is out there to use, and a system that we have is all we have. Things aren't going to change unless we create change. Things aren't going to get better unless we know what the flaws are. And unfortunately we learn from mistakes. So we're not going to be able to have a perfect system if mistakes aren’t made. And I realise that in this topic unfortunately mistakes can end in fatalities. However, we can't improve things unless we use what we have, because at the end of the day that's what we have. It’s, there are so many questions that I have for you Emily It's such a powerful topic and you are such a courageous young woman. And I know within the community, you know, I've heard the question, why do they stay? Why do they hang around and subject themselves to that? Why do they go back? Why do they go back? What is going on here? You know, it's really interesting that you raised that, Tanya. I found some really fascinating statistics that Australians have around domestic violence. And almost one in three Australians believe that women who do not leave their abusive partners are partly responsible for the violence continuing. I've just got chills in my body. I can't fathom that. That's the biggest stand out there for me. But I just I can't believe that there are still people in this day and age that believe that it is partly the victims fault because they stay people stay for all kinds of reasons. It's not always that simple. And people hides what is going on for all types of reasons as well. So, Emily, I know for you you have this beautiful family that is wrapped around in support and would have been there for you in a moment's notice if they knew what was going on. Now for you, you had become very, very good at wearing a mask. And even the closest and nearest dearest to your heart had no clue what was going on until a bystander intervened. Tell us about that mask that must have ripped every bit of energy out of you to keep putting that mask on every day. Yeah. And in all honesty, it is exhausting. And I think that will be a mask that will somewhat be a part of my identity forever now. And that will be due to our circumstances that we're still my child and I are still in today. But that mask was there as a protective factor for myself, but also for my son. And I think with domestic violence, a lot of the questions that are asked are around the victim and around the survivor. And yes, about women staying in the relationship and what they're doing to protect themselves, etc.. But I think a lot of domestic violence survivors do a lot. Well, I know myself was for my son because if I didn't have that mask on, he's at risk. If I didn't have that mask on today, he's at risk. So, yes, I can, women can go out and I encourage women to speak by all means, but we can scream it from the rooftops and you can expect a woman to say exactly what's happening. But I encourage people to think what will happen when they go home because at home that mask isn't there. And what about your family? So, you know, you couldn't tell your family what was going on. So for anyone listening to this and going, yeah, I get it, that's me. I couldn't tell my mum and dad or couldn't tell my, my closest friends. What words of advice would you have for them? I think in a way, in my story to this day, I still didn't tell my family. It was actually a police officer who took that out of my hands who actually said, No, we're not going to let you sit here. We're not going to. My son now escorted him to police protection because he was still in the community in person using violence. We're not going to let you sit in the back of an ambulance anymore. We're going to call and we're sorry, but we have to. And I remember that distinct feeling of just pure embarrassed and just so embarrassed. And then it was within about 5 minutes with that police officer who I would like to mention was a male because he was amazing, took that away. And with that, my family were notified. He was a bystander and he took over and he changed our lives that day. So it's not something to be or in all honesty, it's not something that I still talk to my family about because as a mum myself, I know that seeing my child hurt, and yes, I'm old now, but I'm still my child to my parents it still hurts them. It hurts, it is something that that you have had to see help for because of those whole questions of how do you not see that? How did I don't see my child hurt? How did I not intervene earlier. All of those wonderful questions hindsight gives us. Yes, it's hard. But I think the hardest thing to see is the aftermath of not disclosing, because there is that whole there's questions, like I said before, but then there's a whole trust. You didn't trust us enough to think that we could help you. You didn't trust us to think that we would believe you. You didn’t trust us enough to say you're the most important thing to us. You're our child. We're not going to let anything hurt you anymore. So everybody's different, and everybody has family who believe in different things. But I do encourage you to speak to family because while it can be hard, but trust me, the aftermath is even harder. And having people believe your story, that is something else that you've talked about too. You know, why wouldn’t anyone believe me? I could tell them that, why would they believe me? And that still haunts me. But there was one sentence that I at times, when things are harder, I have closed my eyes and remembered what a man said. And it was that police officer who said five simple words, and it's okay, I believe you. And it might not seem much for a lot, but for a police officer to say that and then run with it. It was powerful. So, you know, once again into the system, I then heard a magistrate say it. So to hear a police officer to hear, magistrate say that, that is those systems supporting in a way where it doesn't have to be the person who used violence is locked up, it doesn't have to be that the person using violence is in jail and the case thrown away. There can be justice in many different forms. And from myself, I've found comfort in the justice of a system saying, I believe you because for such a long time it was hidden. It was that it was told, no one's going to believe you, no one's going to care. What do you think they're going to do about it? Where are you going to go? And at that time, there was so much more control, coercive control with financial payments and things like that. So it was very much a no one's going to believe here. Then there was the other side as well is what what embarrassment will you bring to your family? So, yes. It's such a tough decision to make. So I don't think we can underestimate the value that is coming out of people raising their voices about this issue, people stepping in there, even though they understand that it's going to be a hard and it's a long road. Right? 100%. It is a long, long road. But their willingness to step in, we're starting to see change. We're starting to see some changes within, as an example, the police service where officers are getting trained, they're getting extra skills to better understand the right questions to ask the right questions, to really dig in and really understand the situation. So raising your voice and you are a beautiful example of that, you are adding to that value of creating change within this system. Yes. So I think all the changes within the new legislation that's come out for coercive control and like you said, the new training within the police force, there will always be negative talk about what people aren’t doing. However, I can see change in the community. I can see change in social media. Unfortunately, I can't see change in statistics, but that also won't happen overnight. This is a long process. We've got to 2023 without this change. So all we can do is hope that these change will make an effect and be reassured that it's there. Be reassured that this is what these people are trained to do. These are what these people are trained for, and these are the people to talk to. And while we mention systems, again, these are the people that will help. If you do want change, police will help. While it's daunting, if you do want change, there are many bystanders out there, though, child safety, a wonderful bystander. If you fear for your life or your children's life. Bystanders such as domestic and family violence services, Community services. I would like to mention as well that bystanders can be somebody is as simple as your hairdresser, somebody who you can confide in, just because somebody doesn't have a tag or a government authority behind them or some sort of legislation behind them doesn't mean that not a good support doesn't mean that they're not somebody to create change. We can all create change. Any human create can create change. So I'd just like to delve a little bit more on the topic of bystander is now, obviously in your case, a bystander, a police officer intervened and that brought around a huge change for you. Tell me a little bit more around the value of bystanders, because sometimes it isn't helpful as well. Is that right? 100%. 100%. So in my case, I when the major incident happened with the assault and things, I was actually on a street in the middle of the street and the street that it was connected to was a highway and 9:00 at night with McDonalds on the other opposite side. So people coming straight out of the drive through, people were driving straight past people oblivious in a sense to what was actually happening. But with therapy, people who were scared, people who were scared to intervene, people were scared to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. Bystanders are powerful, however, they can have consequences for themselves as well. And I think we need to remember that the person in using violence, if they are heightened, can attack other people. Those people can also then make other people's lives not very well. But we also need to be mindful of what those bystander roles are to the victim or to the survivor. Because unfortunately, we as humans, we have the best intentions people and we want to save the world and we want to save each other. But sometimes, if it's not understood properly, it can make things worse. So I think it's really mindful to be respectful of what the victim survivor want's because they're the best safety plan that there is. So if I suspected that somebody was a victim of domestic violence, what steps would you suggest that I take as a bystander? I think it's important to have just those open conversations without targeting someone's actions or someone's behaviours or asking that question of why are you putting up with that? I think it's important to be open but to be respectful of what that bystander want’s, like I said that the victim survivor themselves is the best form of safety. there is, they know that person using violence generally and they have been in that relationship for a while to be able to know what's coming and what the consequences are. As humans, we want to help, like I said, but we also don't want to make things worse. And we can very easily with intervening too much, I guess avoiding making judgement even by just phrasing something in the wrong way. Being careful of that because that's not going to help the situation at all, is it? No, not at all. So I think if you are if you do suspect something, the best way to ever or support or engage with somebody is to ask how. Because once you ask how you're empowering, you're making somebody have a choice where they might not have had a choice for years. They might not even have a choice to be what they’re wearing today. But if you ask that person how, you're giving them a voice, and for some people, that's enough power to say, I need help avoid asking questions of why? Because when we ask why we're holding that person accountable, that person is not accountable for somebody else's actions. So if we have people listening and they go, I'm ready to get help, how do we start preparing for it? Because again, it mightn't be today, but it's about preparing for when that can happen. So what steps do we need to take? What things do we need to start planning to be ready? I think there's many things that people can do, but just in my head, escaping is the most daunting thing that someone could do. So keep it simple. So things that you're going to need that can't be replaced or things that you're going to need for proof. So identity is one of the main ones. Birth certificates for yourself and your children. Passports, or photo ID and I recognise that that is an easy for everybody, but it is accessible through births, deaths and marriages. It is accessible through department of Transport. It is accessible through Centrelink. Those support services have social workers that can provide you with assistance to be able to get those forms, recognising that if you are in that process of escaping, have a safe destination to escape to. And then once you get there thinking about things like car registration, because if the location order is served on you through a court, first thing they'll track is your car registration. Taking your name off the register for voting to make yourself a silent register because Google is a wonderful resource for people to find and silent registration will hide your address. Things like talking to bank accounts. There are resources out there like escaping violence payments. There are things speaking to your local bank, speaking to Centrelink, crisis payments, social workers. People are out there and want to help. While it's daunting, it won't be changed if we don't ask for help. Sometimes it is simple as not even speaking. If you have a domestic violence order, show them the piece of paper. You can literally say to them, I can't speak right now if you show them the domestic violence so that they'll understand what's happening. Children, I think it's important as well that we look at the impacts on children generally in a relationship. If there is a marriage, it most probably will be children what their needs are. A lot of people have onus on child safety and are scared of child safety, but they are a wonderful support service. They are a system, a system to support victims, survivors and children to be safe. We need them, use them, talk to them and each other. Just it can be somebody you don't even know is going through something. But if you're conscious at the end of the day, thinks of that person later on or early on during that day, there's generally a reason why to encourage people to take 5 minutes to ask, How are you going today? Because with the question's how we can create change. Such a simple and I love your really simple, practical approach to everything that you've said today. For someone who has been through, Oh, I can't even begin to imagine what that's been like for you, something so traumatic and to then just come back to the basics and be willing to be so open and share that story with people. And she just continues to fight the good fight. Yes. Because there are women out there who haven't had that chance. And to be honest with you, I would have been a statistic. Yeah, but today I not and I've been given that chance to not be being given a chance to show my son a life that could be free of violence and a life that could be safe for him and I appreciate that. And I acknowledge that that could have been very different. So I feel like this there's always going to be stories where there are fatalities and there are going to be stories where those women didn't get a chance to speak due to somebody else's behaviour. So if I can have a chance to speak to reduce that from 32 to 31%, I'll do everything I can. So just in relation to, just as you were talking then and I was thinking about trust and having trust in other people, building trust and then having another relationship as well. It’s been the hardest part that's hard for people to and even thinking, you know, getting through that, I'm never going to trust anyone again 100% and I think it's not so much with that. It's like that whole onion. There's so many layers to it. So one is obviously just what it is. The general nature of trust, trusting somebody, but they're not going to do the same thing that that person before said he would never do again. Trusting that person, especially if he have children, to think, that that person could affect them, trusting that that person will undo all the work that you've done to create change or create change in yourself. But just like anything, not everybody has bad intentions. Not everybody in this world wants to hurt people. Generally, most people are good. However, that takes time to understand that and to trust that. Because once you've been hurt so many times to a point where, like I said, I was almost a statistic, it's very hard to come back from that. And that's where support services are in place and that's where systems are in place to show you that not everybody is like that. Just let that bystander, that police officer who was a male and it was a male who perpetrated violence against me. However, to be honest with you, I think that there will always be a part of trust that will always be a downfall for myself, because I, I tend to explain it like the vase, that precious vase, that gets broken once, will always. You can put it back together, but there will always be a scar or crack because the body remembers and the mind remembers what it felt like. So to be vulnerable back in that position is a very uncomfortable place to be. And there's a part of you when you have someone else to protect that is a piece of you that will always come forefront to yourself. I don't believe personally, and this is nothing against my partner. We are. I’m in a new relationship now, he's beautiful with my child and it's nothing against him at all. But I know what humanity can do and unfortunately it is something that I won't be able to unsee again or unfeel again. However, I hope that women, survivors, men, survivors, victims have the power in themselves to be able to trust again, because at the end of the day, that person has already taken so much from you. So empower yourself to trust again, to overcome what they've taken already. Beautiful! Is there anything that you would like to say just to finish off today, just to, I guess, leave a lasting message with people? If you could give them one last bit of advice I think you’ll have if you are in a relationship where you are a victim of domestic violence, female or male violence isn't gender neutral or gender based. You are important. And no matter how many times that somebody tells you you're not, you are. You are someone's daughter or someone son, you are an uncle. You are an aunt who you are a friend or a cousin. You are a neighbour. But at the end of the day you are a person. Every person has a right to live a life free of violence. Every child has a right to come home to a parent free of violence. Every person that has a heartbeat, has rights, and in a country like Australia, we deserve to have the right to live free. And so you matter and there is support out there. But for the thousand times that somebody tells you that no one will listen and that no one cares exist, we care. Thank you. Gosh, that's such a powerful message. Thank you so much, Emily, for coming in and taking the time to share your story when you've been through these things. It's such a brave thing to do to be open. And we're very grateful you coming in today. You're welcome. Thank you for having me. We always share at the end of our podcast places that you can reach out if you have been affected by today's episode. But what we will also do is in the episode comments, we will make sure that we leave some links for different services that can give you help if you are living with domestic violence and also where you can get financial assistance if you need it in order to leave. Thank you for listening to this episode of Stronger Together. Sometimes the issues we discuss in Stronger Together may be triggering some people. If you have been affected by the topics we have discussed today, please reach out for help. You can call Lifeline 24 hours a day on 13 11 14, or you can use the chat option on their website. If you live in the Wide Bay BURNETT region, you can also reach out to us at IMPACT Community Services. Go to impact.org.au and click on the make a referral button at the top if you wish to Self-Refer. We hope you've enjoyed today's episode and if so, please remember. to hit the subscribe button. Until next time, remember we’re stronger together.